There are instances when individuals and families find themselves in extreme crisis due to the lack of acknowledgment of suppressed trauma, either intentionally or unintentionally. As a result, symptoms resulting from the trauma, including cognitive, emotional, behavioral, spiritual, or relational, are ignored.[1] This suppression is often due to unrealized traumatic experiences or the decision not to disclose issues experienced due to perceived rejection or stigma. Therefore, ongoing trauma left untreated or not addressed leaves communities, including the ministry context facing this issue’s challenges. Thus, although trauma is a prevalent concern, it is not always at the forefront of the conversation because of various stigmas, even in the ministry context. For instance, due to stigma tied to those experiencing trauma as weak or not having faith, some are afraid to reveal the actual issues they face and refrain from seeking the adequate care needed, resulting in ongoing trauma being unaddressed.
Research points to the importance of promoting awareness and addressing the trauma that can occur in several ways. For example, individuals in various communities encounter trauma from childhood to adulthood, and often, there is a gap between trauma and spirituality.[2] Further, traumatic experiences can result from unresolved attachment situations and mental health issues that continue untreated from childhood into adulthood.[3] Additionally, there is also a prevalence of traumatic experiences related to violence, particularly in African American communities.[4] Many, if not all, of the trauma experiences mentioned above can significantly impact lives at any time. However, for various reasons, whether trauma resulting from a recent or childhood incident or event unduly impressed upon an individual or a situation related to a medical or mental illness issue, the subject often does not come up, including in the ministry setting. As a result, many either knowingly or unknowingly journey throughout life with unresolved, undiagnosed issues. Yes, as some may recall, these words “shush, what happens in this house, stays in this house” or “just have faith, you’ll be alright, just pray” and so on. Perhaps, I am the only one that has heard statements like this; perhaps, not. Still, through experience, although I somewhat understand the intention, such responses have not been that beneficial to one who suffers in silence, in need of help and hope. Thus, yes, there is a time to be silent and a time to speak, as Scripture confirms. Therefore, when dealing with or suspected of dealing with traumatic experiences, isn’t it time to speak or talk about it? Maybe such potential circumstances suggest that despite any presupposed stigma, tradition, or even fear, silence is not always golden.
I remember a time as a little girl, encountering a woman that would walk down my street, always dressed to perfection, high heels and all, and make-up flawless! She would always smile at me as she walked by. On one particular day, she stopped and said, “You seem like a nice little girl, and I bet you are smart. Don’t be like me, ok.” I thought, why not? You look like you have it all together. She went on to say, “I’m a stripper; I’m on my way now. I have to do it.” Although young, about 12 or so, I knew then that the woman was hurting. After all, why would she be doing something like what she was doing if she did not want to? She was an adult; she could choose not to, right? Maybe it was for financial reasons, but perhaps it was not. After this encounter, in which the woman talked to me, I never saw her again. Today in reflection, I wonder where she is? Is she alive? Is she well? As this conversation is engaged today, I also ponder the following thought, was there an unaddressed traumatic experience that she was enduring at the time, even as she talked with me, or were there some issues she was dealing with from her childhood? Perhaps I will never know the answers to these questions, but I will never forget that look, the words she spoke, and now as I think about it, what were the unspoken words?
How many encounters such as that described above have occurred in families, communities, and churches? Individuals engaged in conversations, yet there seemingly being some words not spoken. There is the consideration that there may often be missed opportunities for supporting one in acknowledging the presence of unaddressed trauma. Although not wise, perhaps, the decision to stay silent about the trauma that has impacted one’s life is somewhat understandable in ministry. However, there is another consideration. Perhaps, the silence of this issue in the ministry context also contributes to individuals’ lack of communication about the topic and contributes to suffering silently. Thus, perhaps here also lies the possible missed opportunity of listening deeply and responding to the indwelling pain sensed that one is encountering. Therefore, considering these possibilities, a conversation about addressing hidden trauma in the ministry context is undoubtedly reasonable and even warranted. Such a conversation allows the opportunity to explore the spiritual and biblical relationship to trauma.[5] It further offers the potential to gain a broader understanding of the problem and consider potential solutions for pastoral counselors and others in the ministry context.
So, let us talk about it. Let us break the silence that often plagues this issue of unaddressed trauma. Let us look beyond the smiling faces, beyond the images, many of whom sit in the pews, walk in the community, perhaps even live in our homes. Let us open the hidden places and provide space for embracing conversations, including words and language, that create awareness that can lead to beginning the path to wellness. Will you join me?
[1] Scott Floyd, Crisis Counseling: A Guide for Pastors and Professionals (Grand Rapids: Kregel Publications, 2008), 43.
[2] Vincent R. Starnino. “When Trauma, Spirituality, and Mental Illness Intersect: A Qualitative Case Study,” Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, no. 3 (2016): 377.
[3] Lauren E. Maltby and Todd W. Hall, “Trauma, Attachment, and Spirituality: A Case Study,” Journal of Psychology & Theology, no. 4 (2012): 305-306.
[4] Bryan Range, Dumayi Gutierrez, Casey Gamboni, Nathan Hough, Armeda. Wojciak. “Mass Trauma in the African American Community: Using Multiculturalism to Build Resilient Systems,” no. 40 (2018): 284-285.
[5] Scott Floyd, Crisis Counseling: A Guide for Pastors and Professionals (Grand Rapids: Kregel Publications, 2008), 45.